Nothing shows a man’s character more than what he laughs at...

No matter how flexible one tries to be, no matter how readily you can adjust, change is permanent. I don't like change, which is amusing considering my home has wheels. Last fall I put our couch on LYS and three days later, when it was sold, sat in the middle of my living room and had a meltdown. I do not like change. A dear friend laughed years ago when I began my life's change and said, "oooh, Misses 'does not like change' is not gonna like change!" She was right. Which leads many to ask why I married a man in the military. Because. 'Cause sometimes forces are out of your control! But I digress...

I get to man the "fort" on my own for a while. I'm getting a laundry list of things to do, and another list of what to do if and when those things go wrong. This can't end well. I suppose the good news is that it is neither tornado season nor snow season. Perhaps the fall shall be peaceful, though I can only hope.

I recently had to fill out a form for my son's school. We had to identify our dwelling situation: home, apartment,or transient...other. Checking "transient" and "other" should draw a few questions. What else could I have said?

Earlier on during this adventure I had the husband WD40 cabinet doors so that the ever-loving squeaking would stop. Apparenly that is not an end all fix all to a squeaky situation. Our bathroom medicine cabinet opens at decible levels reserved for rap concerts, and that's not a noise one wants to hear at 6 am. Between that and the 22 pound cat giving a dissertation of the night's events upon TJ's waking, mornings have become less than peaceful. Why in the good Lord's name does the cat have to have fresh water from the sink spicket at 6 am when all one really wants to do is relieve one's self at the other facility? I was once told that if you talk to your animals enough that they will learn to "talk" back. What they didn't say was how to get that animal to shut up!

Today I began my quest to become a superb coupon clipper-saver. We stopped by the neighborhood paper machine, bought a Sunday paper, and I settled at the table to clip away. When I discovered the manufacturer's coupons had been removed from my paper, I was upset. I got into the car, drove to the gas station and (after letting the clerk know how I felt) opened the paper machine for a proper paper. I filed through the papers in the machine to find none of the five had any coupons. Boy was I hot. Who does that? Takes all the coupons from the papers?! I have to believe that the Huntsville Times simply did not include manufacturer's coupons in this week's edition. Otherwise, really? Is the economy that bad that someone took them out of every paper?! Hmph.

We had the pleasure of having a grownup night out Friday night. A lovely daughter of one of my favorite client's agreed to sit for us. I explained our current living situation and watched the mother's face register an "excuse me?" look, only to hastily explain the unique joy we experience here in camperville. I don't truly know how our sitter felt, only that she inquired, "are you ever going to live in a house again?" as we approached. We stayed out until 11:30 and began our short drive home. At midnight I was close to sleep, and Saturday I awoke in a fog. When did this happen? When did I become unable to function as a human being if I don't get to sleep by 10:30? When on Earth did my adult curfew become dark-thirty?! I can remember a time when I consistently watched the sun rise before my head hit the pillow. Nowadays I consistently watch the sun rise as I greet the day! Adulthood, schmulthood. Take my checkbook and wrinkles and give me fourth grade recess again, please!!!

Maybe I'm going about this right after all. Maybe since at such a "young" (cough cough, laugh) age we are living with retirees in RV's, perhaps I'll get a second youth? Or, more likely, maybe I'll just be better at Bingo and cross-stitch. You never know....

Going to church doesn't make people Christian any more than standing in a garage makes them a car...

I'm guessing that today's title will get some fuses lit, but I'll get to that later...

I'm watching a gorgeous color of steel gray approach from the west. At least I think it's the west, it could be north or south. I'm never quite certain. It concerns me only because I hand washed a load of laundry in my kitchen sink today that is outside attempting to dry on the line, and a thunderstorm will definitely hinder that progress. I hand washed laundry for three reasons. The first reason is I'm tired of spending at least one afternoon a week at a laundromat that is either in full surround sound Spanish or the other one which is many miles from my house. Second, there is one washer and one dryer here at the campground but a particular woman in a different lot has taken it upon herself to tie up those machines every single day with her laundry and God only knows how a family living in an RV can make so much laundry that it has to be washed every single day. If by chance the machines are open it is later in the afternoons when I don't have too much time to be schlepping back and forth because I have to work. And the third and final reason (for now anyway) is because my wrist was just beginning to heal and I felt the need to reinjure myself wringing out an entire load of soaking wet chothes. See? Now that I've vented I feel better.

I had the joy of attempting to enroll my five year old in Kindergarted recently. It was only by the kindheartedness of the office staff at the nearby Elementary School which allowed me to enroll this child without a lease or mortgage or somethingorother. So, much to this little boy's delight Kindergarten did in fact begin this morning. However, midway through the school day I recieved a telephone call informing me that this little man relived his morning breakfast all over the floor in class and could I come pick him up. So the first day of Kindergarten will be attempted in a "take two" on Wednesday. Only to us would this happen to. All I can do is smile.

Okay, I just brought the laundry inside because the always correct weather people just said we're under a "severe thunderstorm warning." Eh, they could be right this time. They were definitely correct a week ago when the "chance of a thunderstorm" turned into hurricane Huntsville and category 4 winds blew without warning nor break for over half an hour. It was madness. At 11:55 pm we were awakened by the trailer being rocked side to side and the snapping of trees at the trunk could be heard all around us. It felt as if the hand of God Himself had reached down from the heavens to wake us up. Luckily our camper inferred no damage, though several sites around us were not so lucky. Who knew deciding to live this lifestyle would come with come with such risk and threat?

I decided that today's title would be a little bold because of living here in the "bible belt." It just seemed to fit some things I've noticed over the course of our stay. Nothing personal  ;)  .

God made my children cute so I would not eat them...

I suppose the most interesting things occurred during winter. We've run on the same propane tank since Spring- well... sprung. And I've been cooking almost every night! I've learned to turn off the air conditioner when I use the microwave. If I don't, the power shuts off. Details, details. I also know that when I perform that series of operations that the temperature in the house goes from comfortable to right below boiling in about thirty-three seconds. Needless to say it's better to microwave at night.

Our new vaccuum is kicking a$$ and taking names, though our pet hair is definitely giving it a run for its money. Is it wrong to vaccuum the dog?

The kids have learned a new way to grate on my nerve (I'm down to one). They wrestle in bed at night before sleep and pull their curtain off the wall. It's most aggravating- both the wrestling and the curtain thing. The kids have also leaned on the dining table so much that it permanently leans to one side now. So heaven forbid a pea escapes off a plate, cause it's going down! I also have learned that my child will need to poop at the precise moment that I'm in the shower. I don't understand why this is, though part of me thinks he likes to ruin my shower with stink.

The cat made another great escape the other night. There's bigger cats than her in these woods behind our home, and she has no front claws. I truly do not think she thoroughly thinks things through. She's yet to encounter one, but it's only a matter of time.

I'm happy to report that those are the only things of consequence I am able to write about. It's been fairly quiet around here. Perhaps summertime truly is the best season to "go RVing" after all!

Never let a computer know you’re in a hurry, and never believe a mirror...

I gave up wanting to be rich and famous and have settled for being comfortable and unknown. I think it's a quality one gains with age. It has been an entire month since I have had the opportunity to sit and take down any humorous occurances that have happened, so let us see if that aging brain can recollect what has transpired.
I broke the blinds. Mind you, it was only a matter of time. See, camper blinds are two-shaded. You must first pull down the bar that brings down the room lightening shade, and then you must pull down the bar that moves the room darkening shade. When you pull them simultaneously, a fissure opens in the universe and emits a signal that forces the rope holding the shades onto the wall to snap and the shades to break. Something about Murphy and his laws, I believe. Whatever. All I know is that it was a numerical absolute "only a matter of time" that I would break one or more of the shades in the Puma. So there. Even my husband had nothing smart-a$$ to say when he came home and I openly admitted my blunder. I think he was more shocked it took this long.
 The cat made an escape the other night. I believe she has meticulously watched every night as the dog is let out his final time and the steps TJ takes to do so and found her perfect timing to dart out the door as he did. Unfortunately for her she made her grand escape on a night of thunderstorms, so I imagine she sat under the camper cursing the gods that she was able to foil her captors and make her run during such a fitful night. Anyway, the dog barked the next morning to alert us she was patiently waiting on the top step to be let back inside. She's yet to attempt a second run for the hills.
I love red kool-aid. Actually it's the Wal-mart Great Value brand cherry flavored drink, but it's delicious. I, however, am not consice enough at pouring or drinking this delictable red nectar of the gods and continuously spill it on the floor, the counter, and the inside of the refrigerator. Why oh why can they not make this drink clear? Clear drinks are not just for children!
I think it should be noted that I have been forced to buy yet another vacuum. This time it is an upright version of a "pet friendly" vacuum, and it seems to be incredible. It snatches up hair and dirt like nobody's business and I love it. I do fear for the day it meets its untimely demise, which if anyone is keeping count should be in roughtly two months, eighteen days, and nine minutes. Buy your vacuum stocks now (that's an insider tip!)
Our camper exterior is taking on the alluring tone of a zebra. For some reason camper's get a lovely black soot that rolls down top to bottom in dazzling vertical stripes that really look silly on anything other than zebras. RVs are not zebras. Are you seeing the conundrum? But there is a wonderful cleaner that can be purchased at RV supply stores for the low low price of "insanely expensive" that makes us reconsider the fashion value of animal print for our home.
Well folks, that is all my geriatric-heading brain can recall at this precise moment. Perhaps time will again afford itself for more frolicking tales of "normalcy!"

Sarcasm helps keep you from telling people what you really think of them...

So there's this smell emulating (emulating? No, that's not right...emanating, yeah that's it)...EMANATING out of the bathroom. It's worse inside said actual bathroom. Granted, I know the toilet-area is not a wonderful smelling place in general per se, but currently it smells worse than it ought to. I called the husband upon noticing said aroma and mentioned that the room smelled less than pleasant. His answer? Well what is it? How am I supposed to know that? All I know is whatever it is smells especially repugnant and that I would prefer it not to. He told me to go outside and drain the lines. I told him that he's funny. Outside is a "man" job. Inside is woman's job. If inside has a complication due to an outside malfunction, it therefore falls into the responsibility of the outside maintainer by default. It's in the by-laws. What he then said is that perhaps he left the sewer line open and maybe the smell is getting in that way? I don't know. I don't care. All I know or care about is that the foul smell cease and desist as quickly as possible.
There were leaves on the couch when I returned home today. Now, I am fully aware that I did not leave a window or door open from which leaves could blow in from. Nor are there any leaves other places than the couch. The culprit has four paws and long blonde hair and knows good and well he isn't allowed on the couch. He's yet to 'fess up to his crime. Though the couch is developing a gorgeous coat of fur.
Gray clouds are sneaking around the edges of the visible sky. I know they are toying with me. There will be no rain today. Unless, of course, I wash and wax the car. Which will also not happen today. Perhaps I will just continue to admire the light brown color of the majority of the grass and the nice green from where the kids sprinkler hits.

Thankfully, my children make my hair color look believable...

Definition:
Trailertrashtastic (n.)- To emulate or otherwise complete the stereotype of white trash by displaying tires on the lawn, multiple loads of laundry hung out to dry in the front yard (unmentionables included) in full display of the trailer park, children playing wearing only diapers or underwear, all while drinking a beer and watching car racing on television (via antennae, of course).

If I did not have my sense of humor then my life would be very disturbing at times. To save money we decided to only wash last week's clothes at the laundromat and bring them home to line dry. Perhaps the best way to do this is at one load at a time, but we had four. So our yard resembled something between a yard sale and a scene from the movie Twister Sunday afternoon.
We had to bug bomb the RV. I had endured my final flying insect and spider, so yesterday when I woke up I pronounced Sunday would be "bomb day." We loaded the cats into the crate, dog and children (and cats) into the car, set off the foggers, and set out to the park to try and kill the four hours required to annihialate small creatures and insects. The park did not allow pets, so we put them under a shade tree and let the boys play. It's hot in Huntsville in June. Like middle of the sun, ninth circle of hell, core of the Earth hot. And it doesn't rain. Ever (apparently). So the moral of that little story is do not bug bomb your house in July in Huntsville if you have no indoor options in which to pass the time. Oh. And the CO2 monitor apparently thinks whatever is in bug fogger is CO2 compatable and continually screamed until the mist settled. TJ went in several times to fan it off. I suggested that perhaps humans were not intended to breathe in the misty fumes, but his response? "I've breathed worse." Great. Does that life insurance policy cover inhalation mistakes? Just curious.
I have also discovered that I only sleep well in our room if our A/C is on "coldest" and turned on all night. Last night (and this had never happend before thus far) I asked TJ to set it to "coldest" so I wouldn't hear the "click" each time the unit went from "fan" to "freon" (or condition or whatever.) He argued that both A/C's turning on at the same time would trip the circuit breaker. I rolled my eyes. He no sooner had turned it on and climbed into bed that the power shut off. Really. What are the chances? I'm telling you if he hadn't put it out there into the universe it would not have happened. The best thing about this little documentation I'm keeping of this journey is that it is from my perspective. I'm sure if you asked his take on much of this he'd have a different story.
We broke down and bought a new laptop. The cheapest version of the best one we could afford. I've got to admit though, with my less than stellar track record with technology and my husband's threat if I break this one, I'm on pins and needles with every keystroke! Speaking of technology, our new little handheld vacuum now overheats after three minutes of use. It's two months old. This time I blame the pet hair and not the operator. Perhaps it's time to invest in a Roomba.
So. During our marriage we have lived in two houses with dishwashers and two houses with a dishwasher named Mommy. I am the only one who ever has or ever will do dishes, except when my mother-in-law has visited and she is wonderful enough to pitch in. My point is that the husband does not, has not, will not do dishes. Have I made my point? It's not that I enjoy doing them, I hated it as a child and like it substantially less now. But unless I want to waste money on disposable dishware, washing dishes myself is the only option. Having said that I would like to throw my husband "under the bus" for a moment. He says (to me), "You're not a very good dishwasher" (or something along those lines)... (A few years back he said "I like the way I clean the bathroom better" then proceeded not to do it for three months. Just making a point here...) I do admit that perhaps my dishwashing abilities are not five-star quality. It's not my favorite job. My family's lucky I do them at all. What I'm trying to get at here is people who live in houses where dishes get done for you should not throw stones. Or dishwater. Or something like that. Especially in a tiny "kitchen."
Speaking of dishes, I had a little contest with myself the other night to see exactly how many pots and pans I could dirty up to do that evening's meal. It was quite impressive, just so you know. I managed to top it the following night when I used two more than the night before. Rachel Ray's got nothing on me (hahaha)!
My husband was never into sports, especially not car racing. But as of late he has taken up to watching it on television. Full races. Nascar, Formula 51, whatever. Which is great (I guess). But I have to wonder: does he watch it because I'm sitting two feet away doing homework and the sound of the engines disrupts my concentration or because he really enjoys it?
Well, it's quiet now. Naptime. Perhaps when the boys wake from their slumber I'll throw on their swimsuits and let them play in the water sprinkler. Hey, we've got an image to uphold here!!!
Praying for rain.......

Having one child makes you a parent; having two makes you a referee...

The problem with technology is that when you publish a daily online blog, not having the capability to get online seems to prevent the online blogging. Funny how that works. I lost my netbook hard drive a month ago, had to order replacement discs, and had a laptop and desktop to use in the interim. Or so I thought. The laptop's motherboard is making her exit and the whole pc will completely shut down without notice. The desktop has lost the ability to get online at all, plus it takes up an enormous amount of table space. So I had to wait for the netbook to be released from the "hospital" (read: Best Buy). Now on with more interesting tidbits of camper life.
We moved our camper a week ago to a new site. Same RV park, just a different location. My husband lovingly informed me that  we were going to pack up the camper, pull it out of the lot, drive it around, and then bring it back. His reasoning was to see how the truck handled the camper. What he didn't realize is how much work that created for me! Instead of ranting about having to tie down, secure, and move stuff around I'll simply say that the good Lord was on our side because a lot we had been eyeing opened up that very day and made all this "moving" worthwhile. Now. For two days prior to the move we had the privelege of acquiring a new neighbor who was all kinds of interesting. His RV was, well, of an older variety. He would sit outside the camper and face the woods (there's nothing there but trees, we looked). On several mornings he had his belongings set out in front of the camper with "for sale" and "yard sale" signs around his lot. It was special. Who knew you could have a yard sale in a campground?
Yesterday we had tucked the children into bed and settled in to watch a movie. The dog began growling. TJ took and put him on his lead and opened the door. The dog bolted outside, not realizing he was securely fastened to the steps of the camper (as he always is outside). All I heard was a loud "thud" as he reached the end of his lead. Luckily the steps were welded to the camper. But what I need to know is, what was he racing toward?
Grandaddy Longlegs are rampant at this site. They're harmless, and the only spider that will not send me into a tailspin, but they are EVERYWHERE! I hang dry clothes outside and have to shake and beat them before they come inside, because putting on pants and discovering extra legs crawling inside is one more thing that will put me in a straight jacket.
Oh. Yes. So we finally found the limit for the circuit breaker. It kept popping the other day. I had the A/C on and the air purifier on, and it tripped. We later found out it was actual trouble in the lines, not just ours, but I had some definite choice words for the circuit as it kept popping while the boys were napping!!!
We need rain. It's the third layer of hell hot here and dry as a bone. Sorry, I just believed that a post without a weather reference is no post at all. Au dieu!