No great genius has ever existed without some touch of madness...

The dog managed to jump in to "swim" in what can only be described as the sewage dump. I'm not sure if that's what it was, but he stunk very much bad. So he got shaved and bathed...he was not happy. Serves him right, dumb a** dog! You would think an animal with "smell superior to humans" would know not to jump in stinky water! Eh?
The kids got haircuts as well today, it's a good thing they are little and don't know a good haircut from a less than good one. It's cheaper for me to do it, good or bad!
Tomorrow is Easter. Since the kids are always with me, they were there for the Easter shopping. I told them that parents had to buy the plastic eggs and then call the Easter bunny to come pick them up and bring them back Easter morning filled. My husband noted that I said something very similar about Santa. Oh well. What are you gonna do? I still cannot put together how Easter got paired with a rabbit that brings eggs. Eggs? Really? Genius....
The park we are currently staying at has a 30 amp setup, and our camper is setup for a 50 amp. We thought we would have to be savvy about what electrical items we used and when, but for the last couple of weeks we've had no problems. Well, until today. 1 pm: husband notes, "I'm surprised we haven't had any issues with this only being 30 amps." Fast forward three hours and I overloaded the circuit (TV, microwave, other items running at once) and tripped the breaker. That's what he gets for saying it out loud!
Well, it's Saturday night and we are in "jammies" at 6 pm. What party animals we have become! Until further amusing things happen, I bid you adieu....

The greater the value of the rug, the greater chance that the cat will throw up on it...

The bird poop was washed off during the storm. TJ lucked out. He said he needed to get up on the roof and clean the whole camper off; I think he was just waiting for the rain. But I could be wrong.
So today I have to go buy another vacuum. My suggestion to everyone is to buy stock in vacuum companies. Hoover, Bissell, buy them all. It's an insider trading tip from me. Because the rate I alone go through them is enough to make us all rich. I'm an equal opportunity destroyer! Our floors have accumulated crap for a few days now, and it's getting to me.The cat threw up on TJ's side of the bench at the table. I cleaned it up, but he's currently on a "need to know" status with household goings-ons.... It was only a matter of time til it happened anyway...
Last night as I lay in bed awaiting sleep I heard a loud noise next to us. It was an engine, that much I was certain of. What I could not pinpoint was whether we were getting a new neighbor or a spaceship was landing outside. I just couldn't be sure of which it was- it was that loud...Turned out to be a large motor home that I feel quite sure the owner did some fancy tweaking to the engine to make it sound that way. Have I mentioned it was exceptionally loud? Though now that I think about it, having a spaceship land next door would have made for a way better story.
There was another thunderstorm last night, and thus we got very little sleep due to the sheer amount of bodies in the bed. I'm surprised the slide out has not wilted more than it has so far. There's easily 450 pounds of person/animals/fur on that bed at any given time in these storms.
Well, the children have woken from their naps and I must make my daily pilgrimage to Walmart...

If crying doesn't help, try violent mood swings...

We have a skylight over the shower. It really opens that three by four space right up. The problem is that a bird recently pooped on it, and I'm afraid of heights and will not go up and clean it. My camper responsibility falls to everything inside the walls while the husband is responsible for all things outside. But I foresee the bird poop bugging me faster than it will bug him, and the timetable for cleaning it for him will thus take longer than it would if oh say I want it done. It's the marriage laws of physics.
We have a twenty pound cat who really likes fresh water. He really does weigh that much, I wish I was joking. As long as I've had this cat he has jumped up on the bathroom counter and begged for the faucet to be turned on. He really likes fresh water, enough to not mind that it pours down on the top of his head while he drinks. We thought that would change living in the camper, seeing how the edge of the sink is less than two inches in diameter. Nope. He jumps his fat a** right on up there and begs for water. It defies both the laws of physics and gravity. I have no idea how he does it. He also eats toilet paper. But that's a whole other issue....
We thankfully learned that we can pick up a handful of channels for the TV through the antenna. However, for some reason our living room set has given up several of those channels...I do not know why.. But I do know that now the kids spend more time in my bed watching cartoons. I guess I should be happy we have any stations at all.
It's going to rain again tomorrow. What they are actually predicting is "tornado outbreaks" for our area. Surely, surely, this apocalyptic weather has to be nearing its end. (I had to talk about the weather again, my posts just wouldn't be the same if I didn't.)
Well, I am off to my first day of "work." Time to "make the donuts...."

Maybe all one can do is hope to end up with the right regrets...

It's raining again. Thunder, lightening, mud, the works. I'm ordering pontoons for the camper soon. As I look out the window right now it is still doing all those previously mentioned things, yet it is impossibly green outside. Not just the trees and grass, but the lighting! It's very, very green!....Maybe beer number three was an overstep....
We had to buy a duvet cover today. It was less than cheap, but necessary. Essentially all a duvet consists of is two sheets sewn together at three sides with buttons on the fourth. Why does it cost so much? It's a sham. Which, ironically, were two useless items (pillow shams) contained in our duvet purchase. The purchase of the duvet came at the behest of the husband spurred on by the cowardly dog leaping onto our bed this morning at 5:45 am with the first clap of thunder. Followed moments later by the three year old.
I'm sensing a pattern.
There was a break in the storms for a bit this afternoon where the father let the children go outside. Cut to twenty minutes later where both children are covered in mud...along with the dog. Ah, therein lies the reason for beer numero uno....
There are no actual tornado sirens here at this campground. I suppose that's ok. We have internet and cell phones. What I do feel a bit bad for is the park security who must go door to door in the event of a warning or other emergency. These things happen in rain and wind. That can't be fun. And our new tornado "shelter" is quite far away. Although, now that I think on it, it would force me to drive to said shelter. Thus, alleviating the aforementioned "oops" wherein I managed to get myself and the kids/dog stranded in rain without transportation. Right?
I was informed by an official "Alabamian" that the four seasons of the state are as follows: football season, hunting season, tornado season, and summer. That wasn't on the rotary club's pamphlet either. It's the little things you learn in life that keep you going.
My children are currently watching "Tom and Jerry," which they love. And I'm realizing how much my cat looks like "Tom." Well, a cross between Tom and a great white shark. There's no story there, just something I felt like sharing.
Well, I'm turning in for the night. The rain isn't letting up and the steady sound on the roof is becoming a lullaby for sleep...zzzzz.....

A man's go to do what a man's got to do. A woman must do what he can't...

Somehow we have moved to a beautiful area that has the worst of weather. It has freezing temperatures, snow, and ice in the winters. It has tornadoes, violent wind, thunderstorms with lightening and rain in the springtime. I think I remember the Bible stating that the next season was plagues and locusts. Or something like that.
Yes, before you ask, I'm about to discuss the weather further. Buckle up.
Yesterday was not particularly pretty nor was it stormy. For a while. It had some dark gray clouds, but the weather icon on the phone spoke nothing of a storm. As afternoon sank into early evening we noticed darker clouds rolling in, and we assumed it would rain. As we are grocery shopping in the ever-interesting-people infused retailer called Wal-Mart we heard the heavens open up and noticed that a thunderstorm had indeed passed over us. But as we checked out, all that remained were some dark clouds and sparse lightening. As we pulled into the campsite, however, we met a different sight. There were branches, limbs, and full trees down in the RV park. Our rocking chair (yes, we are 80 year old retired people apparently) was flipped over, but no real damage. One massive (Oak? Pine? Who knows) was pulled up from the roots and thrown across the road thirty feet from our home. Another was down not too far from that! And these were not dying or sickly trees. They were beautiful, green, and healthy. Where had this violent wind come from?! Surely there would have been an alert on the phone! Or at least a glimpse of the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse? Now that I think back, security has gone door to door in the campground and informed us we were under a "tornado warning." But you know how I believe those anymore. Huh. Go figure. While we retained no damage other than about 750,000 leaves clinging to our camper, our neighbor was not so fortunate- they had failed to retract their awning and the wind ripped it off their camper. Good thing we brought ours in as the rain had begun to fall.
Okay. Enough of the weather.
I get to clean our carpets in a little while. We had to break down and buy a Little Green Machine steam cleaner because somebody's Golden Retriever had three poo accidents in less than 36 hours on our living area carpet. Why the carpet? Can someone explain that to me? There is perfectly good hard flooring two inches away for crying out loud! If he absolutely has to poop in the house, use there!!! Why the carpet?!? So now I get to crawl around and steam clean it in hopes that it comes clean.
I just spent half an hour outside picking up limbs and branches, sweeping the area in front of the camper, and removing leaves and debris from the outside of the RV. That's what I call...well, I'll call it a man's job for intents and purposes here- though anyone who truly knows me knows what I really call those kinds of jobs! I told my husband I had done it, and he said, "well last night I put the clean sheets on the bed and that's a woman's job, so we're even." Not hardly.
Daddy bought little man a new pair of dinosaur sunglasses last night. We got them home, even had possession of said glasses at breakfast this morning. Somehow between 8:00 breakfast and 8:43 out the door, the glasses were stolen by what I can only assume to be the camper troll and taken to his magical kingdom. The glasses are gone. I've scoured the camper and still cannot find them. This house is the size of a cracker box! Where else could they have gone?!? I guess maybe the camper troll is related to the dryer gnome and one day we will find out where they take all the socks and glasses. I can only hope....

The person who said "anything is possible" never tried to nail jell-o to a tree...

We make decisions everyday. What to eat, what to wear, who to strangle. Things like that. It's inevitable. One thing, surprisingly though, I do not regret is the decision to live in our RV. Though that decision has been tested and tried as of late. If you'll take note it's been several weeks (not days) since I've been able to post. Many, many a thing has happened since then though the catalyst for no postings was a severe thunderstorm that lasted three days and knocked out the campground internet for weeks. Now, normally that wouldn't be a problem but as for me it soon became on. Being how I started grad school and it is entirely online certainly poses a problem if no "online" exists. So back to the thunderstorms. We found out that both of our children and our retriever are scared of thunder. Who knew? One particularly loud clap that Friday night sent both boys screaming into our room which were followed by a shaking bed- that being the dog whom we could have named Coward. And this lovely interlude of bed buddies persisted for three nights. On the third night we nestled in (kid free) hoping for the best, only to hear "boom boom" as we shut of the TV for the night. I heard in the dark as my husband asked, "really?" So the week wears on, no sign of internet in sight, we settled in to endure the overcast skies and watch television. Somehow I feel like I'm forgetting something important in this time period, but at my age the best I can do is "hope" it comes back to me.
The tornado sirens have gone off twice since my last post. One particular time was late afternoon and I did in fact heed the warning. But only if I'd been smart about it. The siren sounds, I wake the three year old from his nap, slap shoes on both boys feet and the leash on the dog and trod to the wash house. The storm rolls in, yet again no tornado, but with it comes nasty rain, thunder, wind and hail. And guess who walked instead of driving to the safe area without a second thought of how to return? This girl. So we waited until the husband got home from work to come rescue us from our "safety." Sometimes my head is really just a hat rack.
On the same day as the previous incident happened I got a text stating that we were paid up for our RV lot until that Saturday, and that there were no more spaces available meaning we had to move. A moment of panic. Move where? I had not thought of a contingency plan to this little exercise. So in a panic I call around and discover that the Rocket and Space Center has an RV park. So four days ago we enlisted the help of a friend with a truck who could pull our camper and relocated to our new site. The downside is that this particular camp has no cable and no laundry facility that can do more than one load at a time. It's great. Really. Rustic. Yes, rustic is the word I shall use. So in our new rustic location we are now without television, luckily have purchased our own internet (and are now at the behest of AT&T), and get to do more things outside. With the bugs. Asa loves bugs, remember? He's so happy.
My husband also let my two young children flounder in mud puddles while I was taking an exam at a testing center which is only a problem because I have no laundry facility handy. Nice. So their muddy attire is in a bag awaiting transport to some facility where my nerves shall be tested and frayed while I wash and dry our clothes while wrangling the children to behave. It's good. It's good. No really.
Last night the husband spent the night away from home. So as a treat I let the boys sleep in our bed and watch a movie. It was hot, so I turned on the a/c. Or thought I did. What I actually turned on was the heat but since there is no heating element in the actual unit all we got was warm air. I was hot all night and could not for the life of me figure out why. But in my brilliant mind I didn't think to look up and make sure I'd turned on the a/c. Nope. It took the husband coming home this morning and pointing out my doofus mistake to make me realize again that sometimes the hair dye goes all way past the roots. 
One final note. Our new campsite is under a canopy of trees. It's lovely. Though those leaves are along the ground and they love both human and dog feet to catch rides from. And because of that we have vacuumed three three times so far today. Yes I said today. And all I can think of to say is thank goodness our electricity is included in our lot rent and not separate.